Svi greše, ali ono što pravi razliku između zdravog i nezdravog odnosa je sposobnost i želja partnera, da prihvati odgovornost za svoju grešku i izvini se.
Koliko god to lako zvučalo u teoriji, praksa pokazuje nešto sasvim suprotno.
U prirodi čoveka čuči tvrdoglava želja da uvek bude u pravu.
Sebično opravdanje sopstvenih postupaka, a tek prisilno sagledavanje partnerove perspektive, i to tek kad se strasti smire.
Ponos je oduvek najveći neprijatelj razumnog razgovora.
Tek iskreno izvinjenje ima moć da promeni stuaciju, i to zauvek.
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When you blame your partner for “making” you lose your temper, say mean things or even worse, deny your part in any of it, you’re not taking accountability and responsibility.. . No matter what your partner says and does or doesn’t say, it is entirely on YOU how you respond to the situation.. . You are in charge of your emotions and behavior. No one can make you say or do anything.. . If you need to express frustration, try.. . “When you did x (the behavior not the person), it really hurt my feelings. Next time, would you do y instead?.. . There is no attacking the person or shifting blame. You’re only talking about how YOU feel.. . As a reminder, a genuine apology looks and sounds like this.. . 1) Acknowledge what you did that was hurtful (to them even if you don’t agree).. . 2) Apologize for it and also take full responsibility for what YOU said without a “but” or “and you also did this” (which negates the apology).. . 3) What you will do differently going forward.. . Practice forgiving and asking for forgiveness often.. . That’s how you keep your relationship intact.. . Remember, small tears that may seem harmless, over time, will do real damage and may become irreparable.. . Think of a broken vase and how many times you can glue the pieces back together before it no longer holds up… . P.S. This concept applies to ALL relationships.. .
A post shared by Eunice (@artofdatingnyc) on Dec 28, 2019 at 6:28am PST
Reč izvini ne oduzima moć, niti označava jednu osobu uzdiže iznad druge.
Ona je samo prihvatanje partnerovih osećanja i prihvatanje sopstvenog uticaja na njih.
Takvo ponašanje pokazuje da se odnos vrednuje više od ega i pruža priliku za okretanje novog lista.
Vremenom gradi osećaj intimnosti i jača emotivni odnos.
Sa druge strane, omalovažavanje ili odbijanje tuđe realnosti samo udaljava partnera.
U ravnopravnom odnosu, oba učesnika imaju pravo na sopstveno mišljenje i osećanja.
Izvini nije samo reč, tek će dela dokazati iskreno razumevanje i doprineti rešavanju konflikta.
Retke su svađe sa samo jednim krivcem, zato je izvinjenje neophodno, kao buđenje svesti o sopstvenom doprinosu situaciji.
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